It is no longer strange to hear people talk about a memorial service when discussing a loved one’s death. The practice has become so popular that many now tend to confuse a memorial service with a funeral service. It is interesting though; they are two different events primarily meant to achieve the same aim- to pay last respects and remember the life of the deceased person. If you have just unfortunately lost a loved one and you’re seeking a better perspective in order to make a decision, this post is for you.

Funeral Service

A funeral service takes place at a graveside if people bury the body or sometimes at a chapel, especially when they choose non-traditional body disposal methods like cremation, alkaline hydrolysis, or body donation to a research facility. A funeral service usually has the body of the deceased present at the ceremony, usually in an open casket so that members of the family, relatives and friends can truly see why they are there and can easily accept the death.

A wake or viewing often precedes a funeral service, where mourners see the embalmed body and pay their respects. You may ask, what if people have cremated the body and the urn is present? In this case, it will no longer be a funeral, but a memorial service.

Memorial Service

This is very similar to a funeral service so it is easy to confuse the two. Unlike a funeral service, a memorial honours a deceased person without the body present. In most cases, people hold it after the burial, once they have taken care of the remains, or when they store the ashes in an urn in the case of cremation. Still, there are a few cases where a memorial service happens before a funeral service to celebrate the life of the individual.

People usually hold a memorial service without the pressures that come with a funeral. The family is often more relaxed and have done a lot of planning to make it a great event. Some families plan a memorial service to allow friends and other extended family members (who could not be present at the funeral service) to pay their respect and say their goodbyes to the deceased. In such cases, the family usually would have done a small funeral service earlier involving only close family members, and maybe a few friends.

Similarities between a Memorial and a Funeral Service

• Both the funeral service and memorial service are organised to achieve similar objectives, including helping the grieving family move on, helping everyone accept the reality of the death, and to honour the person that has passed.

• The funeral service and the memorial service follow the same structure; starting with a viewing, the funeral, the committal and the reception.

• Also, both services consist of the same activities, from the religious elements of readings, songs and prayers to the eulogy and reflection.

• People can also hold both services in a church (chapel) or at the gravesite.

• Both can cost a lot of money, ranging from thousands of Rands or dollars to millions of Rands for public, state or celebrity figures.

Quick Rundown of Differences

• The deceased body is present at a funeral service, but absent at a memorial service.

• An urn (if the deceased’s body was cremated) indicates a memorial service, while an open or closed casket indicates a funeral service.

• In the case of interment (burial), the funeral service usually happens just before burying the body. A memorial service, on the other hand, can happen days before or days/months/years after a burial.

Which should you choose?

Now that you know both activities are different, you can make a choice based on the situation on ground. What were the deceased loved one’s wishes? Did they state in the will that they preferred cremation or another funeral method? If that’s the case, what you’ll be having is a memorial service. If the deceased did not say, then you can have both a funeral service, with the body present, and a memorial service, with the urn (ashes) present.

There are also some instances where the body of the deceased is not available. In other cases, the deceased may have willed to donate their body to a research facility or a medical institution. In any of these situations, a memorial service is also adequate to pay tribute to the dead and honour the life they lived.

Apart from such situations, most families do not mind having both a funeral service and a memorial. Usually, people hold the funeral just before interment, while they may hold the memorial much later. Other families simply stick with the more traditional funeral service with the body present in an open or closed casket. Circumstance, affordability, and the preferences of either the deceased or the family naturally determine your decision.