Ungaqala kanjani ukwenza uhlelo loku kuphela kwempilo yaba zali kanye naba thandekayo bakho.

Ezingxenyeni eziningi zomhlaba, ikakhulukazi e-Afrika, izinkolelo-ze ziyinto enkulu. Wonke umuntu uyazi ukuthi ukufa kuyinto engenakuphikwa, kepha imvamisa kunesikole somcabango esiveza ukuthi ukuhlela ukufa kusho ukusimema ekhaya labo noma isiphetho esilingayo. Lokhu kuvame kakhulu kubazali asebekhulile kanye nezihlobo.

Uma kungeyona isiphetho esilingayo, inkinga-ke ukuthi “umuntu akakwazi ukukhuluma ngalezi zinto nezingane”. Ngeshwa, uma ubheka lapho ubona khona; singabantu abadala manje. Uma noma izihlobo zethu esezikhulile zidlula, sekuqale ukuwela kithi ukubhekana nezinto eziphathelene nezinkinga nezinkinga eza nokudlula komuntu othandekayo.

Lokhu kungabaza ukubhekana nokufa kanye ne-admin nezinkinga ezikuzungezile kuvame ukuholela ekudidekeni noma umthwalo emndenini oshiywe ngemuva noma kulabo abangathatha isinqumo lapho isikhathi sifika, kepha bangazi ukuthi kufanele benze kanjani. Ukuthola abazali bakho nabathandekayo bakho ukwenza lokhu kuhlelwa kwe-End-of-Life kungahamba ibanga elide ukunciphisa lo mthwalo.

Kubalulekile ukuhlela impilo, kepha futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuhlela ukufa. Ngaphambi kokuthi singene imininingwane yokuthi singakufeza kanjani lokhu, ake sibhekisise ukuthi yini ukuhlela kwe-End-of-Life okubandakanya. Kunezici ezine ezinkulu okufanele uzicabangele;

Ukuhlelela Ezempilo

Umqondo ukwenza izinqumo ezithile manje, ngenkathi ukwazi, uma kungenzeka kube nesikhathi, lapho isinqumo sidingeka kodwa awukwazi ukusenza. Ukuchaza ukukhetha kokunakekelwa kuyinto enakekelayo nethembekile ongayenza uma kwenzeka ungakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi ngokuzayo. Kubazali bakho noma abathandekayo bakho, kubalulekile ukuthi bashiye idokhumenti esemthethweni nentando ebeka lokho abakuthandayo lapho leso sikhathi sifika. Ngabe bafuna ukugcinwa ekusekelweni kwempilo (umsoco wokufakelwa, imishini yokudlula, i-ventilator) noma cha? Yini imiyalo yabo ekuvuseleleni kabusha? Ngabe kungcono babe sekhaya lasebekhulile noma kukhona ilungu lomndeni elingaba umnakekeli? Kungaba ngubani lowo? Ngabe ichazwe ngokucacile noma ikhonjisiwe, i.e. bayazi? Bangathanda ukunikela ngezitho zabo noma izicubu? Ngabe bazodlulisela amandla ezempilo abameli kothile uma kwenzeka edingeka?

Ukuhlelwa Kwezezimali

Akekho ongabukela phansi ukubaluleka kokuhlela kwezezimali. Noma ngubani owenza ukuhlela kwe-End-of-Life kufanele ahlanganise idokhumenti ebala lokho okungokwakho nokuthi yini abayikweletayo. Kufanele futhi unqume ukuthi yini okufanele yenziwe ngokwezezimali ngaphambi kokuthi udlule. Lokhu kungafaka ukukhokha isikweletu noma imali ebanjiswayo. Ngokuvamile amabhange aphambi kwakho lapha; Uma unesibopho noma imali ebanjiswayo, cishe uhlala unesembozo sengxenye esele yekhaya.

Kukhona ezinye izinto ezidinga ukuhlelelwa noma kunjalo. Izindawo zokuhlela imali zifaka ukutshalwa kwezimali, izikweletu, ama-akhawunti asebhange, umshuwalense wokuphila namabhizinisi. Konke lokhu kufanele kukhonjwe ngokucacile, isenzo sipelwe futhi kuvikeleke okufakwa endaweni, kepha kwembulwe kummeli othandekayo noma omethembayo.

Ukuhlela Komngcwabo

Kwabanye abantu, ukwenza uhlelo lomngcwabo kuyingxenye yohlelo lwabo lwe-End-of-Life. Abanye baze baqhubeke nokukhokhela izindleko. Abazali bakho nabathandekayo bakho bangenza okufanayo ngokuchaza ukuthi ngubani okufanele aziswe ngokufa kwabo, ikhaya lomngcwabo abalithandayo, uhlobo lwenkonzo yomngcwabo abayifunayo, ukuthi indawo yokubhalela kufanele ibhalwe kanjani futhi, njengoba kushiwo ngaphambili, ukuthi umngcwabo kanjani izindleko kufanele zinikezwe. Kubantu asebekhulile kakhulu noma labo abanokugula okubulalayo, lokhu kungaba isinyathelo sokududuza esikhethekile okufanele basithathe. Kungabonakala kuncane, kepha kumkhulu wakho omkhulu, azi ukuthi ngeke angcwatshwe engubeni emsundu ayizondayo inika amandla amakhulu.

Ukuhlela Kwamasiko

Abanye abantu babona uhlelo lwezezakhiwo njengombhalo ohlanganisa ukunakekelwa kwezempilo, imali, izinqumo mayelana nezingane (ikakhulukazi izingane) namalungiselelo omngcwabo. Lokhu akukude neqiniso. Izingqinamba eziyisisekelo eziphathelene nokuhlelwa kwezezakhiwo zifaka impahla ephethwe, abahlomuli, amandla (abameli), izinqumo eziphathelene nezimpahla zezingane ezincane, intando yokugcina nesivumelwano, ukwethenjwa okuphilayo, nezinye izinqumo ezinjalo ezingase zingaqondile.

Lezi yizifundo ezine eziyisisekelo, kodwa ezihlobene kakhulu ezixoxwa ekuhlelweni kwe-End-of-Life.

Kulungile, manje uyazi ukuthi kusho ukuthini, ubathola kanjani abazali nabanye abathandekayo ukukwenza? Ukukhuluma ngeqiniso labazali bakho abafayo, ikakhulukazi nabo akusona isihloko esilula, kepha kuyadingeka. Nazi ezinye izeluleko eziwusizo;

Zenzele

Siqala ngaleli phuzu ngoba ayikho indlela engcono yokukholisa umuntu ukuthi enze okuthile kunokuzibonisa. Ukwenza i-End-of-Life Planning yakho kuzothatha ukudonsa kuyo futhi uyikhombise akuyona into embi ngemuva kwakho konke. Kungadiliza nezinkolelo-ze okungenzeka ukuthi banazo futhi kubaphonsele inselelo yokuthi baqhubeke nokwenza kwabo.

Ukuqala Izingxoxo

Ngezifundo ezibucayi ezinjalo, ukwephula iqhwa kuyingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu yenqubo. Uqala kanjani? Indlela enhle ukusebenzisa ulwazi onalo ngabo. Ngabe \”bangabaqaphi\” (abantu ababhekana nokuthola imininingwane eminingi) noma \”abahlanganisi\” (labo abafuna ukugwema ukuhlela kepha bazoncika kuwe ngokungakhathalekile)? Ucabanga ukuthi bazophendula kanjani; okujwayelekile \”ucabanga ukuthi ngiyafa\” noma ngixoshwe? Lolu lwazi olubalulekile luzokusiza ukuhlela indlela yakho.

Uma kwenzeka isigameko nje, njengokugula kwakamuva, okuhlangenwe nakho okusondele ekufeni noma ukulahleka kothandekayo, ungagibela kuleso sigameko. Uma une-athikili yephephandaba ngale ndaba, ungavele ukhulume ngayo. Ungasho ukuthi, \”Baba, ngifunde ngendaba yendoda namuhla futhi kungenze ngacabanga\”.

Yiba ngowomuntu siqu

Uyingane yabo ngemuva kwakho konke. kubalulekile ukuthi babone ukuthi uyabakhathalela ngempela futhi ubadinga ukuthi bakunakekele ngokwenza lo msebenzi obalulekile. Lokhu kuzosebenza futhi uma uhlangabezana nokuthile okushintsha impilo ngokwakho. Ungakusebenzisa lokho ukubenza bacabange.

Sebenzisa okuqukethwe Okuthandayo

Kunamabhulogi amaningana, izindatshana nama-podcasts akhuluma futhi abhekana nomqondo wokufa. Ungabelana ngalezi nabazali bakho noma abathandekayo ukuze ubenze bathathe leso sinyathelo esikhulu. Uma bengabalaleli be-podcast, abakwaRadiolab’s Yini odokotela abayifunayo ekugcineni-kwempilo vs. lokho abanye bethu abafuna kuyinto enhle. Ukufa kanjani kungenye enkulu ene-twist yendawo. Kubathandi bezincwadi, sithola ikakhulukazi i-Roz Chast’s “Asikwazi Ukukhuluma Ngokuthile Okumnandi kakhulu”. Ukwabelana ngokuqukethwe okunjalo nabo kuyindlela elula yokubenza benze izingqondo zabo.

Izibonelo Zokuphefumula Kwamakha

Kunezibonelo ezimbalwa okufanele zishiwo, ezivela kubaba owabhalela indodana yakhe izincwadi eziningana ‘zokufa ngaphambi kokuba empeleni afele endabeni ekhuthazayo ka-Emily Debrayda Phillips owabhala eyakhe indawo ehlekisayo kodwa ekhuthazayo kakhulu. Labantu ngabantu abahlelele ukufa kwabo futhi badambisa imithwalo yabashonelwe. Uma unezibonelo zakho, ungazisho futhi, ikakhulukazi lezo abazali bakho noma abathandekayo abangaxhumana nazo. Amahlaya nawo angasebenza lapha; “Akekho ophuma kule mpilo ephila”.

Xoxa ngemiphumela

Mhlawumbe, ukubatshela okungenzeka uma behluleka ukuzibandakanya ekuhleleni okunjalo kungadala isifiso sabo sokwenza kanjalo. Ziningi izindaba ezixwayisayo zemindeni eye yahlukaniswa ukungaboni ngaso linye ngokuthi umuntu omthandayo uphumula kanjani noma ukuthi impahla kufanele ihlukaniswe kanjani.

Khombisa Ukukhathazeka Kwakho

Ngabazali bakho, izingane zakini nezihlobo esikhuluma ngazo. Njengoba uzama ukubenza benze lokhu, ungesabi ukubakhombisa ukuthi kunzima kanjani kuwe ukukhuluma ngakho. Ukukhombisa ukuthi uzimisele ukubenza bakwenze kanzima njengoba nje kungabakhuthaza ukuthi bathathe leso sinyathelo.

Umthombo omkhulu wokuhlela kwe-End-of-Life yi- “Ifayela le-Purple”, insiza yamahhala ehlanganiswe ngabangane bethu eLove Legacy Dignity.